They shot out like cannonballs—clever digs at political figures, religious figures, even Bobby Bowden and the Florida State Seminoles—setting off explosive laughter from the audience. It was how actor, writer, economist, and humorist Ben Stein opened his address to students, faculty, and community members at the BankUnited Center in April.

Stein, invited by graduating seniors to deliver their Spring Convocation, swiftly turned the discussion to more poignant messages, never quite abandoning his tongue-in-cheek punch. His list of “Rules on How to Ruin Your Life” included pearls like: Don’t learn any useful skills—just spend the day watching reruns of The Simpsons or Family Guy, preferably while getting high; convince yourself you are the center of the universe; never be grateful for anything; and treat the people who are good to you poorly, especially your parents.

Known for being “the Clear Eyes guy” and the droning economics teacher from the 1986 film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Stein also has served as a lawyer, White House speechwriter, columnist for The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, and author of 17 screenplays and books. But his most important role, he said, was that of a good son to his parents. “I just listened to them, paid attention, and let them know I cared about them.”

The U.S. health care and social security dilemmas, the war in Iraq, tax cuts, and potential 2008 presidential candidates were some of the other heady topics that Stein juggled, as well as a student-posed question about the meaning of life.

Stein answered, “I wake up each morning, look out the window, stretch, then get down on my knees and thank God that I live in the United States.”